Turbulence

I'm really okay with flying. I get anxious before the flight, because I am nervous about missing the flight. But once I'm past security, I have no problem. Take offs, Landings, mid-air, a few bumps, it really doesn't get to me.

But - and you saw that but coming - on the way home from New Zealand, on the flight from Aukland to LAX, there was some severe turbulence. It seemed to last a really long time. It was one of the few times I've ever actually felt nervous. (The first time being on a flight that was half way to Hawaii, and had to turn around due to an electrical fire - but you could smell the burning. Eek!)

I felt so nervous in fact, that I had a feeling that the plane was going to crash into the Pacific. So I thought about it. And I thought, "That's okay. I just had the best vacation of my life. I spent two weeks with the love of my life, and we had an amazing time. I'm okay. This has been a good life. It was short, but it was well-lived. That's okay. I can die now."

Dramatic, eh? But it was eye-opening for me. I didn't feel regret about things I haven't done yet. I didn't regret my crappy job. I just focused on Alan, and on how happy I've been, and how I'm a pretty lucky gal.

And that's enough, isn't it?