Just Tell Me How It Ends

I admit it. I read the last page of a book before I’m even half way through. I can’t stand the suspense. I also like to know the end of movies. It makes me feel clever. For instance, the other night we watched “Million Dollar Baby”. I knew how it ended, so I could announce all of the foreshadowing.

What can I say? I’m delicate. If I’d known the twist in “The Sixth Sense” I wouldn’t have had freakish nightmares afterwards. I don’t like horror/gory movies, but am fascinated by them, so I just make my friends tell me the end. “They are all really ghosts.” “They really are living in a park in New York City and not the 1700’s.” “She’s really a guy.” “He cuts out his frontal lobe and forces him to eat his own brain.” “They escape from zombie invaded earth only to arrive at another planet that is already infested with zombies.” “Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are really the same guy but with a split personality.”

See? That’s six movies that I can skip, but feel satisfied.

As far as book endings, usually there are all these new characters that have been added in, so I’m totally confused and have to keep reading, not that I wouldn’t anyway. But if I’m going to invest time caring about a character that is just going to be dead in the end, I want to be mentally prepared. I told you I was delicate.