It’s Raining Coffee

On Saturday morning I arrived at work to discover that coffee was oozing from the walls. Since I work at a coffee shop, it’s not that alarming. Perhaps coffee spilled along the wall and no one noticed, so it just looks like it oozing from the wall?

Nope, ten minutes later, coffee was really starting to, well, gush is too strong of a word, but there was quite a stream going along the floor and into the back office. We have a system where if anything goes wrong, you email the Help Desk. The first email subject line was: COFFee is oozing from the walls.

Twenty minutes later, after the Sisyphean task of mopping inches of coffee we sent a second email: WE HAVE A COFFEE RIVER IN OUR STORE – SEND PLUMBER ASAP!

We see that the coffee is pooling in a paricular area of the back office, and when I put my ear to the wall, I can hear a downpour. Hmmmm. This place has a basement? (It was my first time working at this particular branch). I go to investigate. At first I think it’s not that bad. I don’t hear anything, and I don’t notice anything unusal until I get to the hot water heater, which has water pooled around it. Uh oh. Has the hot water heater burst? How bad could this morning be? I crouch down and put my hand in the water. I sniff. Coffee! I now see the stream of dark liquid coming from a door near the water heater. Like the stupid girl in every horror flick (that of course I’ve never seen, just been told about), I slowly open the heavy door. Now is the appropriate time to use the word gush. Coffee is raining from the ceiling. There is a good 3 inches of House Blend covering the cement.

Third email: IT’S RAINING COFFEE

The plumber finally arrives and quickly fixes the clogged drain, which was causing the overflow. Meanwhile, my socks and shoes are soaked. My hair (which to be honest, didn’t look great to begin with) is matted down and drying all crunchy. I have to find a bright side, and here it is: Thank goodness I don’t work in a sewage treatment plant. There are much worse things that could be leaking from the walls and caked in my hair. Eww. I just grossed myself out.